Have a Carling darling!

I finish moving an extremely heavy couch mid afternoon and realize that after such a job there's really only one relief to the mixture of exhaustion and adrenaline flowing through my body: a cold brew. Literally minutes afterward, Slothrop and I sit in my room panting for breath and the foresight of throwing my few remaining beers in the fridge mere hours ago pays off.

- Ah, the pre-class beer,

he says, twisting off the top of a Carling and taking a generous mouthful. I am already way ahead, holding the bottle to my lips until I run out of breath, heaving a content sigh that not even a near-frozen glass of water brings.

So why Carling?

The only buck-a-beer I know that does the job. Paps, Lucky, Laker, James Ready and others simply fall short in all regards. Carling can be had warm if absolutely necessary; Carling can be had after the other brands begin to taste sour past the sixth bottle mark; but most importantly, Carling has spawned the most brilliant beer-related pickup line I have ever heard: "Have a Carling darling!"

Yeah, unbelievably cheesy right? Try it out! It doesn't actually work.. at all.. but the girl will likely crack a grin at your idiocy and then hey, there's a foot in the door. Well, if she's into that type of stupid humour that is, but being a Killin that's all I have to offer - any joke that will make a woman's eye roll. Since I'm doomed anyway I might as well embrace it right?

Obviously Carling doesn't even hold a candle to more upscale beer - my personal favourite is Creemore - but for the price you can't go wrong. We're all students right? Just don't poison yourself with Lucky.. an alternative that tastes like fetid mud filtered through a net of rotten fish. Just haggard.